MAJOR DISAPPOINTMENT!

I've lost a pot in the kiln before but never a whole load. This was a whole weeks worth of work (including my first order, sorry Claire!) I tried all day to chock this up to the learning curve and I thought I was being really mature about it, but this afternoon it hit me like a bunch of bricks. These were my best wheel work to date! And I was really looking forward to having some new inventory. I'M PISSED! Back to the studio now with just a "little" pressure. Why? Because I have my first art show in 10 days at Leonesse Cellars in Temecula's Wine Country. It's part of the World Of Wines festival but the art/merchant faire is open to the public. So please come out and see me & the rest of the local artisans, musicians, & merchants. It promises to be a beautiful day of art, music, and fine wines. For directions, please consult leonessecellars.com.   [Below on the right is one of the kiln victims- I loved the curves on this one.]

On another note, I am working on 15 centerpieces for a Haiti benefit dinner at South Coast Winery on March 20th. I will be spotlighting the works as they get farther along in the finishing process. This event is being billed as "Celebrity Chef Dinner" at wineresort.com. Check it out for the details.


So March is shaping up as a busy month.  I now have a deeper  understanding of the saying "Be careful what you ask for, you might get it."

Hiding behind the "Normal" Mask

Yes, I'm only partly showing myself, but the mask is slowly being peeled away. I have started telling people that I've known for years that I'm an artist. Their reply is always "I didn't know you were an artist". That's because I never told anyone. I am the master of being vague and getting people to talk about their life without sharing mine. So now, at 41, I am learning about who I really am, what I really want, and what it means to feel. I want to start sharing more specifics here, on a regular basis, and let this blog be my avenue to express, without guilt or shame. My name is Tim Knutson and I'm an artist. Life is art, art is hope.

I'm feeling the energy that comes from honestly being myself. I can talk to people without thinking I need their approval, I can attract real friends, and I can use this energy to create a life I love. I never knew this was possible. I want to recommend a book that is helping me so much with making these connections; "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. If you feel like you lost your true self somewhere, this book will help you, especially if you have an inner artist that has been shut down by trying to fit in.

Wow, 2 posts in one day, what a joyful day! Thank you to CL for her insights and example. Thanks to my friends who accept me for who I am.

Inspired to Act (or Get Off My Ass!)= Synchronicity

I thought I would be writing about how I've had a lack of inspiration lately and that was the reason for my lack of works of art. But upon looking back, my mind has been flowing with plenty of ideas and I have pages of ideas in my journal. So what was it that was blocking me? I feel it was fear of success, that with all the possibilities of making a life as an artist opening up to me, I feel that sheer terror of commitment. I'm working on going with this creative flow and today it really clicked.
Last night it rained in SoCal, so I thought I would be off the hook and could skip the farmer's market (I was feeling really negative about my lack of new inventory, even though I have 3 oils I could frame). So what happened this morning? As I slept in, the clouds cleared and a sunny day was starting without me. I convinced myself to get up and go, and I was so happy I did. Not only did I have my studio partner relying on me to show her work, but I wanted to see some people like Martha and the Raw Revelations dude.
So I get to the market and get a highly visible spot across from my friend Jeremy. I had the joy of meeting some fellow artists and the pleasure of making the first sale of CL's work (a horse of course). I had been carrying a flyer around for about 2 weeks for a benefit dinner for Haiti. So I got the urge to finally call and offer to make the centerpieces for this event. It sounds like a possibility. I am very excited to see what happens with this. This chef has plans to do 13 events nationwide and that could lead to much visibility for my ceramics.
I rode home from the market into a head wind with a trailer full of veggies and art and all I could think about was what the centerpieces should look like. The trip home was but a blur and after consulting with CL on glaze colors, I went into the studio to throw. But throw what? I had had bowls on my mind, so that was the call. I threw 2 almost identical bowls in about an hour and it was so rewarding. This day just kept on getting better.
So I had to share all of this synchronicity with my blog and let this communication continue to tear down the walls that I have been hiding behind for so long. I love feeling ALIVE!

P.S.- my first customers

This is Steve and Cathy, I went to high school with them and surfed and skated and camped and danced. My first day at the farmer's market and they stop at my booth. They bought my painting and became my first customers. Thank you!

Farming art

Today was my third time selling my art (ceramics and oil paintings) at the local farmer's market. And I have learned a few lessons (and many more to come) about the art of selling art. For me, the biggest one is to not judge what I make- I can only create what I create and if the work attracts someone then that is beautiful. But if no one wants what I have made, there is nothing I can do to change that. Its all about me letting go and trusting that what I need will come to me. I also have to keep reminding myself that this has been my dream for almost 4 years and now here it is- yes, dreams do come true, but sometimes that can be scary. Do you see how I struggle with commitment? And it turns out that some people have wanted to share their money with me and take home one of my creations. Its exciting to have art back in my life after a long drought. Turns out my life has always been here just waiting for me to do something with.

Progress in the studio

Got the electrical work done to fire up my kiln for the first time last week. It was two years in the making and I was pleasantly suprised to feel the heat come off the kiln- IT WORKS! I had no way to test it since it was given to me and now I have a working kiln, so I should have no more excuses to not make loads of ceramic art. Right? Well, now I need to keep the momentum up, keep practicing on the wheel while doing my hand built pieces. And get the Etsy acccount up once my inventory is bigger. Glazes are on their way from Aardvark in Santa Ana and so here we go.......

I feel ..................

My first post on my first blog- I am excited and nervous. Does it matter what people will think or presume about me? Is this my own self-judgement? This is a time of many firsts for me- multi-pitch climbs @ Tahquitz, a ceramics studio, setting (or at least trying to) boundaries, listening (really- it's an art!), going carless in Southern California, country bike commuting, admitting I love horses, and starting this blog. Getting out of a car and off the freeways is changing my views of time and season. Its cold in the morning but so refreshing after the first chill wears off and the rythmn of pedaling warms me. Have you been to the Santa Rosa Plateau? Just go, you will be amazed. Its time travel and its quiet.........

This is Jack- the sweetest tabby you'll ever meet.