San Bernardino Mts. seen from Santa Rosa Plateau

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Artistic Struggles or Subconscious Amnesia

  I find myself struggling to keep to a working studio schedule.  After an intense peroid of concentration to make someone's deadline (successfully), I have lost my rythmn artistically.  I've had some good ideas and made a few sales here and there, but I've just been worrying about the mundane things of life, like taxes and mortgages- how boring.  I'm sad about this and I want to trust that the flow is there waiting for me to step into it.  I did have a successful day in the studio today, but only because Horse reminded me that I've dropped all the things that make me me.  I made some more faces (as big as will fit in the kiln) and put some handles on some mugs.  I have plenty of clay right now, so there is one excuse I can't use.  My jaw is tight with anger as I get ready to sleep.  I want to succeed as an artist, but is it all about money or pleasing other people?  Or is it about self-expression and trusting that what I need is already happening?  Stay tuned, I know I will be.  earthawk studio, staying alive for another day.  Tomorrow is a ride to wine country as I get back to country bike commuting.  Riding is a way for me to get in touch with how I really feel- wait this sounds like another post.  See you tomorrow (with some pic's,too).

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