A Brief Recap and Then....................

I suppose its time to fill in some blanks from the past month or so.  I talked up the Hands for Haiti event and on my end it was a success.  I heard the event itself went really good and that the food was amazing.  The centerpieces looked great on the tables and I was in shock to know that my art was going to be in front of so many people, complete strangers.  That is one of the nuances about creating art that I so enjoy- that the work has a life of its own once I complete it.  It was like these centerpieces were my teenagers who went out for a party.  Three of them didn't make it home, but I heard that they found some good families to start a new life with.

I haven't written much about my cycling adventures around this valley I live in, so now is the time.  I don't currently own a car, so my bike has taken on a whole new level of importance.  I've been living this way for about a year now and I have no regrets.  Besides the financial benefits, riding my bike everywhere puts me in direct contact with the elements and wildlife in a way that I would never see or feel in a car.  I get a real sense of satisfaction knowing that I got to all my destinations by means of human power.  Distance and time take on a new feel, suddenly places aren't so far away as going by car makes them seem.  True, some mornings I don't feel like riding in the cold, but after about ten minutes I'm all warmed up and so happy to not be on the freeway.  Instead, I can connect to my imagination as the hawks soar overhead and the rythmn of pedaling takes me to my destination.  It has essentially become my personal therapy session.  I highly recommend reading a book called "How to Live Well Without a Car".  It helped me see the possibilities of this kind of lifestyle.  And soon enough I discovered that there is a whole subculture based on bike-centric living.  I'm excited by this energy and I'm leading by example.  Its a choice and one I'm happy to have made.

Artistic Struggles or Subconscious Amnesia

  I find myself struggling to keep to a working studio schedule.  After an intense peroid of concentration to make someone's deadline (successfully), I have lost my rythmn artistically.  I've had some good ideas and made a few sales here and there, but I've just been worrying about the mundane things of life, like taxes and mortgages- how boring.  I'm sad about this and I want to trust that the flow is there waiting for me to step into it.  I did have a successful day in the studio today, but only because Horse reminded me that I've dropped all the things that make me me.  I made some more faces (as big as will fit in the kiln) and put some handles on some mugs.  I have plenty of clay right now, so there is one excuse I can't use.  My jaw is tight with anger as I get ready to sleep.  I want to succeed as an artist, but is it all about money or pleasing other people?  Or is it about self-expression and trusting that what I need is already happening?  Stay tuned, I know I will be.  earthawk studio, staying alive for another day.  Tomorrow is a ride to wine country as I get back to country bike commuting.  Riding is a way for me to get in touch with how I really feel- wait this sounds like another post.  See you tomorrow (with some pic's,too).

Hands for Haiti countdown

Well, the kiln is red hot and I'm due to start building some more centerpieces for a benefit dinner I previously mentioned (check for it at wineresort.com).  I thought I would share a few photos of the works in progress.  I'm finding that my original ideas are turning into something entirely different.  More symbolism, more human, more nature.  This is a first for me and I am so grateful for the chance to showcase my work like this.  Thank you Regina and Leah!  The dinner is on March 20th, so I have a strict schedule in order to be ready.  I used to dread schedules but now I feel the need for one as a part of being committed to a project.  Otherwise I would never be ready.  This is when the magic happens....................

MAJOR DISAPPOINTMENT!

I've lost a pot in the kiln before but never a whole load. This was a whole weeks worth of work (including my first order, sorry Claire!) I tried all day to chock this up to the learning curve and I thought I was being really mature about it, but this afternoon it hit me like a bunch of bricks. These were my best wheel work to date! And I was really looking forward to having some new inventory. I'M PISSED! Back to the studio now with just a "little" pressure. Why? Because I have my first art show in 10 days at Leonesse Cellars in Temecula's Wine Country. It's part of the World Of Wines festival but the art/merchant faire is open to the public. So please come out and see me & the rest of the local artisans, musicians, & merchants. It promises to be a beautiful day of art, music, and fine wines. For directions, please consult leonessecellars.com.   [Below on the right is one of the kiln victims- I loved the curves on this one.]

On another note, I am working on 15 centerpieces for a Haiti benefit dinner at South Coast Winery on March 20th. I will be spotlighting the works as they get farther along in the finishing process. This event is being billed as "Celebrity Chef Dinner" at wineresort.com. Check it out for the details.


So March is shaping up as a busy month.  I now have a deeper  understanding of the saying "Be careful what you ask for, you might get it."

Hiding behind the "Normal" Mask

Yes, I'm only partly showing myself, but the mask is slowly being peeled away. I have started telling people that I've known for years that I'm an artist. Their reply is always "I didn't know you were an artist". That's because I never told anyone. I am the master of being vague and getting people to talk about their life without sharing mine. So now, at 41, I am learning about who I really am, what I really want, and what it means to feel. I want to start sharing more specifics here, on a regular basis, and let this blog be my avenue to express, without guilt or shame. My name is Tim Knutson and I'm an artist. Life is art, art is hope.

I'm feeling the energy that comes from honestly being myself. I can talk to people without thinking I need their approval, I can attract real friends, and I can use this energy to create a life I love. I never knew this was possible. I want to recommend a book that is helping me so much with making these connections; "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. If you feel like you lost your true self somewhere, this book will help you, especially if you have an inner artist that has been shut down by trying to fit in.

Wow, 2 posts in one day, what a joyful day! Thank you to CL for her insights and example. Thanks to my friends who accept me for who I am.

Inspired to Act (or Get Off My Ass!)= Synchronicity

I thought I would be writing about how I've had a lack of inspiration lately and that was the reason for my lack of works of art. But upon looking back, my mind has been flowing with plenty of ideas and I have pages of ideas in my journal. So what was it that was blocking me? I feel it was fear of success, that with all the possibilities of making a life as an artist opening up to me, I feel that sheer terror of commitment. I'm working on going with this creative flow and today it really clicked.
Last night it rained in SoCal, so I thought I would be off the hook and could skip the farmer's market (I was feeling really negative about my lack of new inventory, even though I have 3 oils I could frame). So what happened this morning? As I slept in, the clouds cleared and a sunny day was starting without me. I convinced myself to get up and go, and I was so happy I did. Not only did I have my studio partner relying on me to show her work, but I wanted to see some people like Martha and the Raw Revelations dude.
So I get to the market and get a highly visible spot across from my friend Jeremy. I had the joy of meeting some fellow artists and the pleasure of making the first sale of CL's work (a horse of course). I had been carrying a flyer around for about 2 weeks for a benefit dinner for Haiti. So I got the urge to finally call and offer to make the centerpieces for this event. It sounds like a possibility. I am very excited to see what happens with this. This chef has plans to do 13 events nationwide and that could lead to much visibility for my ceramics.
I rode home from the market into a head wind with a trailer full of veggies and art and all I could think about was what the centerpieces should look like. The trip home was but a blur and after consulting with CL on glaze colors, I went into the studio to throw. But throw what? I had had bowls on my mind, so that was the call. I threw 2 almost identical bowls in about an hour and it was so rewarding. This day just kept on getting better.
So I had to share all of this synchronicity with my blog and let this communication continue to tear down the walls that I have been hiding behind for so long. I love feeling ALIVE!

P.S.- my first customers

This is Steve and Cathy, I went to high school with them and surfed and skated and camped and danced. My first day at the farmer's market and they stop at my booth. They bought my painting and became my first customers. Thank you!